Trying to "come back"

The excitement of starting my own blog and connecting with other crafty moms was put to an abrupt stop after the death of my sweet girl, Viviana. It's been three months since she died and I know that I will probably never heal from the incredible pain of her loss.

Every day is filled with different emotions. I never know how my heart will feel or my brain will work. Yet in all of the pain and sadness, I know that I must go on. I must go on so that maybe the pain can be lessened. I also must go on because of her two younger sisters that still need attention and love. In moving on we begin to live a "new normal" without ever forgetting our beautiful Viviana. That is my hope.

I would like to include my hobbies into our "new normal" because they are things that I enjoy doing. I've worked on completing the butterfly garden that I started before Viviana died. It is a very meaningful garden to me that couldn't have been a more appropriate choice because it will bring life to our yard through beautiful blooms and butterflies. Viviana loved butterflies. I am also very happy that we were able to add a Hawthorne tree (Winter King) to the garden. Hopefully the birds will like the berries in the winter.

The end of summer is near and that means that I won't have much gardening to do for quite a few months. How appropriate that I have been doing a lot of thinking about sewing and am feeling a pull to start sewing again. I would like to start sewing handbags again. Once I get started, I hope to sew diaper bags, coin purses on a string and maybe some totes. I even hope to sew some clothes for Maria and Julia and maybe even for myself!

With our kitchen remodel now complete, I hope to cook some very yummy meals. I think I will use this blog as my new recipe book!

So, my "come back" to something that I was so excited about a few months ago may be slow, but I really hope to use gardening, sewing, and cooking as therapy to help me heal.

I love you Viviana!!!
mom